Mutual Masturbation

What is Mutual Masturbation? 

Mutual masturbation is when two partners stimulate themselves in front of each other — often side-by-side or while watching and pleasuring each other. It’s one of the most intimate and underestimated ways to connect sexually without penetration.

Unlike traditional sex, mutual masturbation focuses on visual stimulation, communication, and self-pleasure. Both partners stay in control of their own bodies while inviting each other into their arousal. It can be part of foreplay, a standalone act, or a way to explore desires.

Some people call it mutual self-pleasure, and it can be done in person or virtually — ideal for long-distance relationships. It’s perfect for those who want to experience closeness, reduce pressure, or try a safe sex alternative.

Why Try Mutual Masturbation?

There’s more to mutual masturbation than you might think. Here are the top benefits:

✔ Builds Emotional Intimacy

Watching each other in such a raw, vulnerable way deepens emotional closeness. It helps you learn what your partner likes — visually and verbally — without guessing.

✔ Safe Sex Practice

There's zero risk of pregnancy and very low risk of STIs when done with clean hands and no genital contact. That makes mutual masturbation one of the safest forms of sexual expression.

There's zero risk of pregnancy and very low risk of STIs when done with clean hands and no genital contact. In fact, experts recognize mutual masturbation as one of the safest forms of sexual expression.

✔ Great for Performance Anxiety

Because there’s no pressure to penetrate or perform, it reduces anxiety and allows both partners to focus on pleasure. This makes it ideal for men dealing with ED or premature ejaculation.

This makes it ideal for men dealing with ED or premature ejaculation — conditions that can be further supported with products like the EjaGuard Delay Spray, designed to enhance stamina and control.

✔ Extends Foreplay & Builds Anticipation

Use it to build tension before intercourse or as a sensual night on its own. The slow, teasing pace of mutual self-pleasure helps boost desire and satisfaction.

✔ Sparks Exploration

You’ll discover new fantasies, learn each other’s pleasure cues, and maybe even unlock new fetishes. Use it to explore dirty talk, toys, or new positions — all while keeping control.

If you're wondering how to spice up your sex life, this might be the simple solution you've overlooked.

How to Start Mutual Masturbation With a Partner

Initiating mutual masturbation doesn't have to be awkward. Here's how to bring it up and make it fun:

Step 1: Talk First

Start with a flirty question like:

• ‘Have you ever wanted to watch me touch myself?’

• ‘What turns you on the most during solo play?’

Keep it playful and judgment-free.

Step 2: Set the Scene

Dim the lights, get cozy in bed, or even hop in the shower together. Make the setting relaxed. Candles, music, and eye contact can enhance the mood.

Step 3: Start Slowly

You can begin by masturbating next to each other. Watch each other and match pace. Or, take turns — one watches while the other performs.

Step 4: Use Your Words

Ask things like:

• ‘Do you like when I do this?’

• ‘Show me how you touch yourself.’

This builds intimacy and guides pleasure.

Step 5: Mix It Up

Use your hands, add a toy, or even try guiding each other’s hands. Incorporating elements of mutual foreplay can make things more exciting.

Mutual masturbation with a partner is all about connection — so don’t rush. Let it be about teasing, watching, and exploring at your own pace.

Techniques, Positions, and Toys to Try

Looking for fresh ideas? Here are some spicy ways to elevate mutual masturbation:

🔥 Positions

• Side-by-side in bed: Perfect for synchronized stroking and eye contact.

• Facing each other (sitting or lying): Build tension through facial reactions and verbal teasing.

• Mirror play: Watch each other’s reflections — super stimulating and erotic.

🔥 Techniques

• Tease your erogenous zones slowly.

• Mimic each other’s rhythm.

• Try edging (bringing yourself close to climax, then stopping).

🔥 Toys to Use

• Vibrators: Use on yourself or trade turns.

• Stroker sleeves or delay sprays: Great for boosting male stamina.

• Lubricants: Make everything feel smoother and more sensual. Try flavored ones for added fun.

Mix and match these ideas for new sensations. The goal? Pleasure, without pressure.

Using a sensual lubricant not only enhances pleasure but also reduces friction, making the experience smoother and more enjoyable.

Mutual Masturbation vs. Partnered Sex vs. Solo Play 

Here’s how mutual masturbation compares:

Unlike traditional sex, mutual masturbation with a partner lets you stay in control of your body while still being fully connected to theirs. It's the perfect blend of solo and shared intimacy.

Is Mutual Masturbation Safe?

Yes — it’s one of the safest sexual activities.

There’s no exchange of fluids unless there’s direct genital contact. Always wash hands before and after. If using toys, clean them or use condoms. This makes mutual masturbation ideal for partners wanting to reduce STI or pregnancy risk.

It’s also a smart option for those recovering from health issues, experiencing pain during intercourse, or simply looking for a safer way to explore.

Tips for First-Timers

• Communicate: Talk openly about boundaries.

• Go slow: Let the mood build naturally.

• Use eye contact: It creates trust and arousal.

• Stay playful: Laugh if it gets awkward — it’s part of the fun.

• Incorporate breathwork: Syncing breathing builds energy and tension.

Most importantly, don’t worry about ‘doing it right.’ The right way is what feels good for both of you.

Mutual Masturbation for Long-Distance or Virtual Play 

Not together physically? Try these:

• Video calls: Set the mood like you would in person. Use props, toys, and dirty talk.

• Phone sessions: Describe what you’re doing — let them imagine the rest.

• Mutual selfies or recorded videos: Share with consent.

Long-distance mutual self-pleasure builds anticipation for your next visit. Use it to maintain closeness and explore fantasies from afar.

Mutual masturbation offers a unique mix of personal control and shared intimacy — a combination that’s often overlooked in traditional sex education, yet endorsed by sex therapists for building connection and confidence.

FAQs

What is mutual masturbation?
It’s when two people masturbate in each other’s presence — watching, touching, or side-by-side.

Is mutual masturbation safe?
Yes. There’s no penetration or fluid exchange unless you choose it. Wash hands and toys.

Can it help improve our sex life?
Absolutely. It builds communication, arousal, and reduces performance pressure.

Can I use toys or lube during mutual masturbation?
Yes. Toys and lubricants can heighten pleasure for both partners.

What if I feel shy about it?
Start slowly. Try it in the dark, or let one partner go first. Comfort grows with time.

Is mutual masturbation better than sex?
Not better — just different. It’s a great alternative or add-on to regular sex.

Final Thoughts 

Mutual masturbation is more than just a sexy show — it’s a powerful way to build intimacy, safety, and understanding between partners. Whether you’re looking to explore new things, deepen connection, or try a safe sex alternative, this act deserves a place in your bedroom routine.

So the next time you’re thinking of how to spice things up or want something different than penetration, give mutual masturbation a try. Your partner might thank you — over and over.

Want more tips for lasting longer or enhancing your sexual wellness? Check out EjaGuard’s full line of delay sprays and safe, natural intimacy boosters.